Trying to contact Xanga to pay for new subscription for my site I have contacted Eugenia at help.xanga.net. I don't want to lose my info.
jara_89@yahoo.com

Amazing how life flows and changes. I'm doing something I thought I would never want to do again.... buying a home. A little land, and a little house, a little place to come home to, a garage for my car, and a shade tree to sit under on warm evenings. Barbeque grill and hickory smoke, quiet conversations and starlight. All these years I thought I was a Phoenix ... maybe I still am.

"Phoenix rise... raise your head to the sky..."

There's a hole in the sun
in the dark of the day
and the warmth we've been feeling
is growing I'd say
There's a rise in the ocean
as the ice melts away
and we'll all be swimming
if things stay the same

there's a storm that's rising
with a wind blows so ill
and changes are coming I know

(work in progress, saved for copy write purposes, Brent)

A Master read my thoughts one time
He gave his comment on those lines
I wish those words were mine

@Brent 9/25/2015

Weaver of wonder
Dreamer of dreams
Gentle persuasion
All living things

Tomorrow and never
Always the same
Life in a dew drop
Mornings warm rain

Shadowed allusions
Sparkling touch
Liquid fluorescence
Cold water rush

Stars in an hourglass
Movement of time
Thoughts in a whirlwind
Perfect design

Brent
6/9.2015

The Crossing Beyond...

Somewhere, you are there. We always have been, we always will be. The more change I see, the more I realize what you mean to me. Is this a dream, is this real? Will I ever know the feel of you in my arms again... to taste your kiss, to touch your skin ? As time moves we will never see an end. Suns will rise in distant places and set in your eyes. The night knows me, the wind calls your name. Stars fall before you,like spring rain. Your breath a warm summer breeze upon my face. Lost,forever I wander with no trace , unbound, set free... a thousand faces look upon me, in every eye I see the diamond that is your soul, I hear it singing to me. Want and need I cannot deny. Moments fleeting, like a magic dream, etched indelibly upon my soul,never to forget a single moment. The look in your eyes, your lips as you sigh, our bodies as one, holding and entwined, sweet delicate tenderness. The ebb and flow of eternity, our soul... we are the half which makes us whole... across the years and lives, I follow you, as you follow me, never ending this must be... the way, the path, the answer to the question we ask. Your scent flows through my mind, your blood moves in my veins. I am an immortal horse crossing a universe, star fire in my eyes... I will not be denied. You are the stain of loves ink within my skin, for all who look to see... you are a part of me, the heart deep in my breast, and each beat is your caress.

Brent
6/8.2015

amazing lyrics seem so fitting... "It has been a long time...I am looking for my soulmate..."

Hundreds if not thousands of years ago, two lovers crossed paths , evermore entwined, their souls wander the ebb and flow of time. Across the ages... still they seek that touch, their tender kiss, the sweet scent of love, their love, on distant breezes , always and ever the call of their one heart shared, draws them like moths to the flame. Never ending they hunger for their lost half, to one day, be one again.... always and forever meant to be....always
I Burn For You

April 30,2015

Writing, original thoughts about memory and ties to evolution;

Memory is a strange thing, we can remember, and we forget. We seldom are able to completely control what we forget, if at all. Memories have a way of coming back at uncontrollable times. We call ourselves “haunted” when memories seemingly come back at unexpected moments. There are most likely triggers buried within our mentality, psyche, being, or whatever terminology one might use to describe their mind and brain activities, even soul, which may be distinguishable from the physical mind. Abstraction plays a part in the movement and shifting flow of memory.

What I wonder about is this; I have been taught various techniques which are designed to draw the focus of my thoughts away from painful thought activity. Diversion can help to some extent for short periods of time, but memory always comes back to let us know it is still there, stored in some little file, located deep within the recesses of our minds.
They tell us we can overcome these thoughts and after enough time condemn them to eternal destruction…. Gone forever and never to return.
WRONG.
For those who believe in Evolution, the above cannot be true. If it were, there would be no such thing as evolution…. Because with time we forget many things…. And yet some things still come back even after dementia or other similar maladies have taken their toll. If evolution is real than some memories can never be removed. They become a part of us on a cellular level. These are sometimes referred to as “Instincts”. They are the only possible way that evolution could work. If we didn’t remember things in our literal complete physical body, on a cellular basis, a body would never “remember” anything that it needed to change and adapt to its surroundings…. Such as legs to walk, and eyes to see, hair or fur to keep warm, differences in color of body hair , to allow camouflage for safety. Those cellular memories, I don’t know how our body chooses to save one and discard another, but it seems to have to do with intensity, and possibly repetition. If bodies did not remember, there would never be any change or advancement in ability. No adjustment to surroundings and circumstances. Nothing would get passed forward to benefit or change to meet need.

As a result of these facts I believe that memory is more than just a function of higher brain activity. I believe it is a physically integrated part of our bodies. That is a part of why dreams affect us as they do. Within a dream the world is as real as any time in our waking world. Actually as it has been previously questioned, which world is REAL? Our bodies don’t know, they react the same on either side. If you’re shot in a dream, you bleed. When you wake up in the waking world there are no bullet holes. At this point how do we determine the concreteness of our being? So we have another dream and there are no bullet holes, or scars. That world seems amazingly different. How do we know for sure? Regardless of all the diversion techniques we use those old memories come back and we live them as completely real. Lucent dreaming may be a help, but is that just another form of “sleeping diversion therapy” ? It appears the memory still exists somewhere in our being. The only thing we know which rids us of memory is the cessation of what we call life…. And there is question if that is anything more than a transition point.

Speaking from a psychological standpoint, I believe memory is more deeply physical than we realize. I believe, that is one reason we have problems dealing with mental illnesses. It will not likely be resolved by adding or removing chemicals which we don't absolutely understand beyond speculation. Nor will simply talking and expecting people to heal themselves through diverting and just "getting over it"
I believe memory is with us to stay…. No matter what we do to try and avoid it. My best advice is to be careful what you do, the memory it leaves you with may be traumatic beyond anyone’s wildest imagination.The redeeming part is that there are also good memories.... hope for all of those you can retain.

Brent

Such a beautiful day. I love it this way

The wind is blowin' and it's beneath our wings
come on darlin' just fly with me.To some place where we can be,
someplace we can see, some place warm and free.
We'll wake on the beach in the morning sun,
we'll hold hands and hearts, and become one.
Let the sun shine, let the waves roll
lets share this time, lets touch souls
make this dream a reality, kiss me girl
can't you see, this is where we belong,
we were meant to be.