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| "Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more."
-Erica Jong |
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Ok So this song was one in the background of "August Rush" I liked the movie a lot, I LOVE the song. If your computer is fast it will soon be playing, if not it will take a few seconds , but it is on the music located at the bottom of this page....
I love it when I feel a connection to music..... and tonight I feel more hopeful about love than I have for sometime.....sometimes it's better when you can't get them off your mind.
This Time
Tonight the sky above
Reminds me how to love
Walking through wintertime, the stars all shine
The angel on the stairs
Will tell you I was there
Under the front porch light
On the mistery night
I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back
Could I get you off my mind
This time
The neon lights and bars
And headlights from the cars
Started a symphony surrounding me
The things I left behind
Have melted in my mind
And now there’s a purity inside of me
I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back
Could I get you off my mind
This time
I’ve been sitting, watching life pass from the sidelines
Been waiting for a dream to seep in through my blinds
I wondered what might happen if I left this all behind
Would the wind be at my back
Could I get you off my mind
This time
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There is a place
There was a time
Out from the darkness
from the flames rise
dark phoenix forbode
distress, night's skies
Lover, Liar,
soul afire
wicked lies
thin disguise
darkness deep
embers weep
quench not
love besot
Chris
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With eyes closed ..... on soft lips kissed 
I miss you tonight Chris
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A response to questions.......
Sounds OK to Me. I'll give it a try. I will say that I tend to be very different from most guys, not in all ways, but many. My statements will be general, in other words, not all women are as I will describe, nor are all men ... and these things are from my perspective,and colored by my general experiences. I hope you are able to see something there in, which will give you some insight that may be usable for you.
Why do guys do what they do?
Most guys tend to be kind of "Mr. Spock" orientated if you catch my drift.... logical. It's the way we are hard wired. We are problem solvers mostly. When women tell us what's wrong.... we try to fix it. We also have emotions, they just tend to follow what we consider to be logical such as; I tell her I love her,the response should be; she tells me she loves me. Some variation on that tends to run through most of what we do. The strand may be hard to find, but somewhere in his mind, there's a connection.... though you may not see it, and he'll think you should completely see where he's going, and where he's coming from. ( I think women, and men are similar on that last point, we both tend to expect others to read our mind, or at least see our reasoning clearly. Though I think that's more of a rarity.)
Why do women do what they do?
Women on the other hand, tend to be based somewhat in emotion. They do not always need everything fixed. They do tend to just need someone to listen to them. Someone to give them a "safe place to fall" so to speak. Then if the guy is able to simply hold them, and give them comfort ( NO not only sex LOL) They are able to recover, and go out and fix whatever they need fixed, the way they want it. (this is where most of us guys fail miserably, we think we have to do it for them.... wrong)
It kind of comes down to two people doing a job. One is watching the other, and thinks "that's not what needs to be done", so they try to take the lead , and do it their way. The result is friction. Pretty soon they are both upset because of differences of opinion, about how to do the job best. That leads to them both sitting down, and neither one doing anything. So the job goes unfinished. If they could communicate, and compromise, they could both come to an agreement on what method will reasonably suit both of them. The work then continues in reasonable harmony.... and the job is finished. That's kind of like a marriage/ or relationship. If we can learn to communicate, and compromise, we can grow together into a great work team. That means we will accomplish much in our lives together. That also takes TWO people willing to consider the other, and not esteem their own opinion too far above the others.
Is it easier for guys to walk away , than for women?
Tough one. I'm not sure.This will be mostly conjecture based in my own experience. One reason might be because when women have sex their body makes a chemical called "Oxytosin" it causes her to "bond" with the man she is with. It also happens when she is nursing a newborn. The newborn takes this chemical in through her milk. Thus causing mother, and child to bond. During sex, she has this chemical, he doesn't. That would account for women who leave a marriage, after having extramarital sex. This could be why men don't as much. ( there are myriad reasons, this is just a generalization and not meant to explain every situation)
So, maybe the men not being chemically induced to bond, take more time to do so, on other levels. If those levels are not reached ( possibly by not being closely involved with someone. Like a long distance relationship might be) by the male, and they are separated, by what ever type distance, they may never be there to bond the relationship. Leaving him vulnerable/open to other relationships. We don't tend to be very honest about these feelings between men and women. Whether we "don't want to hurt them", or we are trying to protect a connection that is "handy" for us under certain circumstances. (in other words we get some benefit of some kind, sexual, financial... whatever)
Fruitful relationships, fantasy, hope, and dreams.
So we poke the bear, trying to get a response. Remember, bears can be grumpy. They will growl. Then maybe if we poke them correctly, they will open up, and we get a big old bear hug. ( a whole lot nicer than having ones head bit off)
Where does all this lead? Hopefully to better relationships. Still some things are only fantasy in the heads of those who want to believe. If we have hope, and dream of a future together.... we have to take all into consideration. Then we and only we can make the decision .... is this worth the trouble? Is it REAL. Is there room for change in a good way, and will we BOTH be interested in making those changes, and sacrifices? We must also realize, that we cannot make the other do as we wish...... that only leads to resentment, and a harsh ending down the line. We may have to realize, they will never feel as we do. If that is the case, then we go on with our lives. Only we can decide what is enough, what is too much, and when is too long to wait. Follow your heart. Don't let friends interfere, they may wish you well, but you have to sleep with yourself at night. In the end, if we follow what "William Shakespear" said; "to thine own self be true" , I believe we will accomplish what is best for us. That doesn't mean choices will be easy. They are not. At least we can have hope, surely with all the people in the world, somewhere out there, there is someone who wants what we want.... and maybe we will be lucky enough to find them.
Chris
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True
Lifetime
